This whole election thing is totally out of control. Its not that we’re anti-democracy, we just have a short attention span for all things drab.
And all this hot air about oil, taxes, healthcare, and America’s Next Top vPILF is exhausting. As such, we’ve decided to take matters into our own hand and run for president.
Our platform: “Glamour for every citizen, no matter how homely.”
Our theme song: “You Must Love Me” from Evita. (If it can get Madonna a Golden Globe, there’s no telling what kind of power that song has!)
Our tagline: “Don’t Play It Straight in 2008”
Now, we know there may be some naysayers in the bunch who doubt our abilities (Hi Baracky and Johnny Boy). But screw ‘em; it’s time for change.
Do we have experience in international affairs? Yes, we are experts in French…kissing. Do we have a plan for the economy? Yes, it’s called the American Express Platinum Card (or Black Card, if your daddy is extra generous). National defense? There’s not a country we won’t blow (up).
See, it’s all about simple solutions, a great wardrobe and, of course, lots of teeth bleaching prior to any public appearances.
Of course, the media has already exploded into a tizzy over our candidacy. Check out the news clip:
http://www.news3online.com/index.php?code=68e215Ght8Ifc7ryP628
Want to throw your name in the election too? It’s easier than Palin’s daughter. Just visit this http://www.news3online.com to create your own news!
