It has been said and sung that money makes the world go round. Hypocrisy, on the other hand, is often the grease that keeps society functioning agreeably, much of the time. But it is good old gossip that often gives life its spice.
Gossip can be like a dash of paprika sprinkled on potato salad. It adds no flavor, but it can provide color to an otherwise bland conversation. Sometimes it does add flavor, like when using Louisiana Hot Sauce or Tabasco on your dumplings. It can even turn as sophisticated as caviar on deviled eggs.
We talk about it in various terms. It’s getting the lowdown, dishing the dirt, or spilling the tea. It can be spread over the backyard fence or at a bridge club. Domino halls, back in the day, were where men proved they had just as much an appetite for gossip as their female counterparts.
There are hoary jokes about “listen carefully as I don’t repeat gossip.” Dolly Parton taught us in Steel Magnolias that one can say just about anything if it is prefaced with, “I’d rather walk on my lips than to criticize anybody.” Perhaps an early version of virtue signaling was declaring that one doesn’t listen to idle gossip. Oh, but that is the best kind of gossip.
It’s idle in large part because it doesn’t affect you. It generally is about someone you don’t know, or at least don’t care that much about. Besides, there’s some strange satisfaction derived from seeing someone get knocked off their high horse and land in the mud. That is, as long as the mud doesn’t splatter on you.
Gossip ceases to be idle when it does affect you or someone you actually care about. That kind can be awkward to hear, difficult to see spread, and even harder to try to mitigate. All gossip tends to turn from idle to malicious in this circumstance.
But this week, some delicious gossip dropped that many folks seemed to gobble up like manna from heaven in the midst of all the doom and gloom news of the day. When I first saw a posting about it on social media, I honestly thought it was a gag. I googled “Kristi Noem husband crossdress,” and there it was.
Byron Noem with those big balloon boobies in pink hot pants doing Lord knows what with Lord knows who for Lord knows what purpose. But still, gossip as scrumptious as it can get.
To be honest, I have no knowledge of this particular fetish or how it works. I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. But then there is a part of me that says, “Well, whatever blows your skirt up or your hot pants down is none of my business.” To each his own, as Mother always said.
There was a moment of fleeting concern for the children of this couple, but they are adults, and one could argue that this isn’t the most embarrassing thing done by one of their parents in public in the recent past. If any one of them thinks it is, then any empathy is misplaced completely.
Of course, it didn’t take long for some folks to want to turn this into an “issue.” Is there no end to the hypocrisy of these people? How derelict was the vetting process that allowed Ms. Noem to become Secretary of Homeland Security? Could national security interests have been compromised, as she may have been subject to blackmail? Oh, good Lord. Please leave me to enjoy a nice piece of scandal in peace.
After all, in the case of Kristi Noem, this is just a cherry on top of a swirl of gossip and innuendo concerning dubious handling of finances during her tenure as secretary (and that’s putting it nicely) and alleged canoodling in an adulterous relationship with Corey Lewandowski. Of course, she essentially was fired by Trump last month, letting the air out of her balloon. Now we know where it went.
Gossip, of course, can be damaging. Whether it’s true or not, whether it’s idle or malicious, it can leave a mark on one’s good name.
This may not be the last scandal we come to concerning Ms. Noem. A serious scrutiny of those financial records certainly is in order. That could be much more damaging than a couple of balloons and a pair of hot pants.
This current business with her husband needs no scrutiny. There’s photographic evidence. Even so, it isn’t exactly the first taint on Kristi Noem’s reputation.
