After a long day of hiding razor blades in apples, deep-cleaning our autopsy table and setting bear traps on the front lawn, Halloween can be downright exhausting. And the children hardly seem to appreciate the effort. So to relax after our chores, we instinctively turn to alcohol like a teen wolf to a basketball. But we crave a spirit that’s […]
Did your mom have a limited repertoire of daily meals she’d make your family? Ours did, and we could emerge from a two-month coma and tell you the day of the week based solely on what was on the dinner table. Meatloaf Monday. Taco Tuesday. Steak Finger Wednesday. Hot Dog Thursday. And everybody’s least favorite, Fish Stick Friday. (In her […]
It’s not even Halloween yet, but that hasn’t stopped us from starting our detailed Excel spreadsheet for Thanksgiving dinner (complete with a pie chart for pies). We’ve always loved Thanksgiving. Mostly because it’s an excuse to get in the kitchen and use all those $99 tools and $600 appliances that we just had to have to make one Barefoot Contessa […]
Who doesn’t love a great burger? The Commissary at One Arts Plaza has some of the most delicious and innovative in town. Yet that wasn’t enough to keep the creative culinary beast inside Chef John Tesar (pictured) at bay. He had to go and open an intimate, 12-seat restaurant-within-a-restaurant, aptly named One Art. The concept just launched last month and […]
Consider this official notice. Don’t eat any hamburgers for the rest of the week. Or any red meat for that matter. Save the craving for Sunday when you will eat enough beef in one sitting to make every vegan in a 15-mile-radius cry uncontrollably for no apparent reason. For the third year in a row, DIFFA Dallas presents Burgers & […]
There are many people we look up to. Madonna, because she can always snag a younger man. Carson Kressley, because he’s managed to out-gay anything that’s ever been on Dancing with the Stars, TV’s gayest show. And Michael Jordan, well, because he’s tall. But our new heroes happen to be two guys who are ready to fill a void in […]
Do you know that the single most common cause of death in a restaurant is Papyrus Laceration Extrematus? Or in lay terms, a lethal paper cut from the menu. That’s right, that ambulance you often see outside a restaurant rarely means a choking victim has left the building, but rather a very careless person, one juicy carotid artery and a […]
Crawling out of bed on a Saturday or Sunday might as well be climbing to the top of Mount Everest. In Christian Louboutin platform pumps. With our legs tied together. Carrying a small reindeer – that’s also carrying a smaller reindeer. It’s true. Mornings are a struggle. That’s why God created snooze buttons and Elephant Strength™ Ambien. Now we have […]
Ever since the government replaced the Food Pyramid with the far-less-confusing Food Plate, we’ve been trying to find ways to get in our daily allowance of all the important food groups. We get our grains from CornNuts, our dairy from Activia (Jamie Lee says so), our protein from Jack in the Box tacos, and our vegetables from giving BJs to […]
We’ve got so much gay, we’ve been trying to bottle it for years. Think of the demand! Lonely hearts could spray it on their dream man and make him hop right out of his jeans. Straight men could drink it when they need to come up with creative gifts for their girlfriends. And, of course, the Army could use it […]
