Gays have a hard time with the wide world of sports.
For many of us, locker rooms are more fantasy than reality. The Triple Crown has zero crowns, which confuses some queens. And who among us hasn’t flinched when a towel was snapped our way?
Three strikes, we’re out and proud.
How bizarre, then, that we’re fans of Mission Product skincare products, made for and marketed to serious athletes needing cosmetic comfort.
Time-out: why on God’s green Astroturf would us gays be interested in beauty products infused with zero delicacies like oils or flowers and made for the very people who beat us up in high school?
The answer’s as obvious as a male ribbon gymnast – athletes work their bodies harder than anyone else. Sun-worn brows, wind-whipped lips, and seriously battered feet are tell-tale signs of a hardcore jock. They need just-as-hardcore products to keep their skin as smooth as a batboy’s bottom.
Designed by a team of athletic, science and cosmetic pros, Mission Product’s line provides that extra padding of protection for your skin, as well as necessary nutrients and vital antioxidants.
We were initially drawn to the trio of SPF 15 Lip Balmers, available in flavors of mint, sweet vanilla and orange (our gold medal choice), but high scores also go to the Foot Synergy Gel, a miracle elixir that penetrates the roughest of calloused skin, nourishes workout-weary feet and stimulates circulation to allay fatigue. Both are included in the full-line five-piece bundle kit.
Mission may not turn us in Sporty Spice, but at least we never have to use Old Spice.
Individually, $4 – $13
Bundle Kit, $35
http://www.missionproduct.com/
