A good brassiere, or so we’ve been told, is meant to fit properly while keeping things lifted, separated and enticing to the eyes. Sadly, our chiseled physique prevents us from ever having the joy of bra life. (Well, except that three-month binge where we ate nothing but Oreo McFlurries and squeeze cheese right from the can.)
But now, we have the closest thing to a male bra in our Underwear of the Month selection for August. After all, this is the time of year when we wear next to nothing and we want all of our assets to look their very best.
The Dual Lifting Trunk from 2(x)ist’s Shape line is like plastic surgery in a box. The specially designed underwear lifts your butt for that sexy below-the-waist profile that only squats and lunges could previously provide. (We can now rest a Diet Coke on our perky new butt shelf.)
Up front, a breathable interior mesh support lining enhances, lifts and, to get a little scientific on you, bulgefies. When we return from the restroom with our zipper down, don’t bother telling us. It’s on purpose now.
Unlike other products we’ve tried that feel like a series of pulleys, gears and S&M accessories are working overtime to redistribute our buttage and crottage, these are super comfortable. Like wearing nothing at all, which sadly will now be utterly disappointing to anyone who’s taking us home because of what we look like in our Lift trunks.
But no worries. That’s what blindfolds are for.
Brief, $24
Trunk (shown), $29
www.2xist.com
