Spanking the monkey. Choking the chicken. Polishing the disco stick.
Whatever you call it, masturbation is as common a way to start the day as a cup of coffee. But soon, you’ll have an environmentally friendly excuse to do it more often. (Al Gore and Ed Begley, Jr. must be so proud.)
Sign up to strap on a Wankband prototype and you could be a pioneer on par with the future colonizers of Mars. Yes, adult entertainment portal Pornhub is developing technology that will harness power that’s right in the palm of your hand.
The kinetic charger means you’ll be able to generate enough energy to charge a smartphone. Download a full-length movie, actively “participate” and you could boost the battery of an iPad, too.
Collectively, the male species probably has the potential light up New York City for a solid year.
All in a day’s wank.
Wankband
Now seeking testers
www.thewankband.com
