Ever feel like Lili von Shtupp? I do, right now. Because I’m tired. Not that I’m tired of what was exhausting Lili…all that “love uninspired” could get anyone down. So to speak. (If you are gay and do not know Lili, you are required to sign up immediately for a remedial course in Gay Sensibility. Being born after 1974 does not qualify you for exemption.)
These days, there’s a lot to make you tired. Donald Trump and his celebrating Muslims. Ted Cruz and his “transgendered leftist activist.” Planned Parenthood shooter. Chicago…’nuff said. And now, San Bernardino.
Right now, we don’t know much. But we do know that all the news organizations will give us wall-to-wall coverage of every tidbit, inaccurate early numbers of the body count, distraught witnesses, the beginning of the political implications (which will quickly turn partisan). And, of course, the pointless speculations. Leading politicians will weigh in, offering outrage and no actionable response.
So, in the absence of a blood transfusion (which will really remind you of how much energy you had in the ‘80s), I’m going to embrace the holiday season as my antidote. Thanks to the nephews, everything in this house is decorated. And by everything, I mean everything. Trees, chandeliers, skylights, even the doors. More is more.
Put that inner elf to work. Knock your lights out…literally. Put them everywhere you can. Use every extension cord you can get your hands on. Decorate as if you had cleaned out the Baptist Bookstore of baby Jesuses.
Watch all the Christmas movies: “Miracle on 34th Street”…”It’s a Wonderful Life”…”A Christmas Carol” (any one you prefer)…”Holiday Inn”…”Christmas in Connecticut.” Lip sync with Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen when watching “White Christmas.” Even old staples like “Gone with the Wind” and “Giant” have Christmas scenes. And “Imitation of Life” does, too…as if you need an excuse to watch that.
Enjoy the holiday parties. Wear that ugly sweater with pride. Because all of the problems of the world are going to be with us after the tree(s) come down. And, unless I miss my guess…well beyond.
So, move over, Lili…I’ve got a holiday waiting on me.
