Let us turn our eyes to the filth and degradation in the entertainment business. Clearly, these people need my touch.
Backstreet: Former Backstreet Boy, Nick Carter, was arrested in Key West for allegedly berating a bartender and punching a bouncer at a club. Poor Brother Nicky. Never has been able to cope with being a has-been boy band member. Turning to the bottle for comfort has resulted in a series of less than Christian behavior. But let’s really look at this one, shall we? First of all, Key West is known as a haven for sodomites. Secondly, boy band members have never been the paragon of masculinity. It would therefore be simple to assume that Brother Nicky was mistaken for a sodomite and was merely defending his heteroness. However, I personally believe that the altercation was a result of the aforementioned club employees asking the simple question, “Who ARE you?” Glory!
Backwoods: The material girl was recently in concert in Louisville, Kentucky where she angered many in attendance. It seems that she was led to being at her program three hours late and then proceeded to appear extremely drunk. Color me shocked. She was merely being a gracious guest of the State and sampling some of its finest Bourbon. More importantly, many in the audience were offended by her “fake hillbilly accent.” People…let that go. She’s been using a fake British accent for years now. She’s just got a gift for dialect adaptations. Cheers!
Blackless: The overwhelmingly elderly, white male members of the Motion Picture Academy of Arts and Sciences have released their nominees for this year’s Oscars. It’s a veritable cornucopia of Caucasian characters. I do believe that the Lord created people in a wide palette of colors. It seems such a shame to have the benefits of cinematic technicolor in high definition and waste it on the various shades of white we’re seeing in films today. Some would beg to return to black and white films. Let me remind those beggars that without black in the films, we’d be stuck with a bevy of movies showing two hours of nothing but a white screen. Let us then give thanks for the contrast which color brings to the movies, to the world, and to our lives. Amen?
Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.
