It’s been a weekend of the Super Rich and the Super Bowl, brothers and sisters. Let us reflect on both.
Goo Goo: Faceplace founder, Mark Zuckerberg and his lovely wife, Priscilla, have announced their new daughter’s Chinese name, in honor of Sister Priscilla’s family heritage. It is reported that her Chinese name will be Chen Mingyu. This is in addition to her given name which is Maxima. Maxima Zuckerberg! She’s named after a Nissan. So she has a Japanese name AND a Chinese name? These Asian children are SUCH overachievers. Let us pray.
Gaga: In yet another sign of the End Times, our beloved National Anthem was sung at the Super Bowl by none other than America’s freak of nature, Sister Stefani Germanotta, AKA Lady Gaga. Lord help us. Were Garth Brooks, Faith Hill, or any other number of normal Americans not available? And yet, Sister Gaga delivered and sang like a pro. This causes me great consternation, as I would HATE to have to admit that, under the meat dress and prosthetics, lies actual talent. I wonder if she knows Amazing Grace? Praise!
Gag Me: When one is the quarterback of a team that has advanced all the way to the Super Bowl, one is expected to maintain a level of sportsmanship and grace even in the midst of a loss. Losing quarterback, Brother Cam Newton of the Carolina Panthers, showed his bad side after losing to precious little Peyton Manning. During post-game media interviews, Brother Newton was ungracious, unkind and ultimately rude by walking out of the press conference midway through. Well, just gag me. Take a lesson from Brother Tony Homo, er, Romo. The Dallas Cowboys couldn’t have beaten a team of arthritic nuns this past year, and yet dear, sweet Tony has remained gracious in the midst of loss. Brother Newton, you may be a man of color, but the color bitter isn’t your strong one. Time out!
Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.
