Another week of life in this great country brings another week of opportunity for prayer, reflection and prophesy. Heed my words, all ye who read!
Pruning: Let us pause for prayer on behalf of the Bush Family. Little brother Jeb suspended his campaign for President this past weekend. What frustration he must be feeling. Familial connections, inner workings and limitless money just can’t buy what they used to. I, for one, am praying for comfort for little Jeb. And also offering prayers of thanksgiving to our Lord for finding it in His will to keep America’s Bushes trimmed. Hallelujah!
Privacy: We need to be in prayer about how technology is overpowering our lives. Certainly it has been a blessing to be able to have the interwebs at our fingertips via tablets and smart phones, but at what cost? If I share a prayer concern via text with a woman in my church, can I be assured that this Christian interchange is safe from invasive eyes? If not, then how much MORE should the dregs of society be concerned when intimate photos of one’s private parts is exchanged? These questions are now in the collective consciousness of our country, as the FBI seeks to access personal information in the iPhone of the San Bernardino shooter. This concept of privacy is much like my faith in the Lord. It’s all or nothing. Either the FBI can access everyone’s personal data or it can get no one’s. This fight isn’t over, Brothers and Sisters. I ask that you all prayerfully consider your next text, lest it end up in HDMI in Times Square. Glory!
Pontiffs: It is no secret that I, as a proud Babatist, hold no faith in things Catholic. However, the current pontiff, Pope Francis, continues to touch my soul with his forward thinking and strong opinions which bend away from the historical curve of the Church. As the sodomites like to say, the Pope is “letting us HAVE IT” by recently questioning Donald Trump’s alleged Christianity. To my skirted minister in Rome, I say “PREACH!” To make matters worse, another alleged religious leader closer to my home, the Rev. Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Church, Dallas is now asserting that by thus calling out Brother Trump’s lack of faith, the Pope is turning the Donald into a Christian Martyr. People, these are end times. Popes commenting on American politics and Texas Baptists proclaiming Catholic martyrdom on billionaire filth. I’m building a bunker. Praise!
Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.
