The Lord has spoken to me in a POWERFUL way this week. I pray that these thoughts will be a blessing to you all.
Peaches: God’s people have been moving in a mighty way through the South. The fine Christian leaders of North Carolina overwhelmingly passed a law which invalidates ALL local protections for sodomites and lesbyterians in that State. In the nearby Peach State of Georgia, State Pharisees, er, Representatives passed a similar bill to protect religious liberty from homosekshul influence. Brothers and Sisters, I admire dedication to a belief system, but let us open our Bibles to see the vast differences in societal norms between then and now. Times change. I feel certain that the Lord is powerful enough to let us all adapt. Glory to Georgia Governor, Nathan Deal, for vetoing this legislation. And, what a blessing that he’s not up for re-election this year. Praise!
Perverts: Speaking of the gays, Hollywood heartthrob, James Franco, is wagging his tongue at sexuality again. On the subject of what side he figuratively butters his bread, Brother Franco has now said, and I quote, “I’m also a gay in my life up to the point of intercourse, and then you could say I’m straight… If it means whom you have sex with, I guess I’m straight.” Where do I start? I mean, there are some fine married men in my church who dress very well, have impeccable taste and buy the nicest shoes for their wives. However, those same wives have shared with me in prayer and supplication that the fireworks have left the bedroom. Therefore, “up to the point of intercourse” these men are hetero, yes? So, to these fabulous husbands AND to James Franco, let me say, in all Christian love, “STICK IT IN AND SHUT UP!” Amen.
Predictions: Finally, the Lord’s Anointed School, Baylor University, is fast becoming a powerhouse in all things athletic. While the men’s basketball team was knocked out of the NCAA Championship by the pansies of Yale (YALE!?), the Lady Bears have stuck with it and found themselves in the Sweet Sixteen. The leader of this free world, Brother Barack Obama, created his own NCAA bracket and, in his infinite foresight, predicted that the Lady Bears would LOSE to Florida State, thus knocking them out of any future wins. Lady Bears Coach, Kim Mulkey, after BEATING Florida State, tweeted a gloat to Brother O, essentially calling him “ye of little faith.” Let me put this in laymen’s terms. Barack, never vote against a tribe of Baptist lesbyterians on a basketball court. There is enough angst behind those plays to carry a championship! Sic ‘em!
Photo Credit: Governor Pat McCory – Business Insider; James Franco – Visionair; Lady Bears – Waco Tribune
Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on RSVP Cruises, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy.
