As a general rule, I would welcome the return of an old fashioned word into the lexicon after a long period of disuse. And while the word “affair” has been used all along in other meanings, the “romantic or passionate attachment typically of limited duration” meaning as stated by Merriam-Webster hasn’t been.
So when the sexual encounter, as described by Stormy Daniels, between her and Donald Trump is termed an “affair,” that usage should be questioned. To be accurate, the only affair those two have had is the one going on right now. The Stormy Daniels Affair is “a matter occasioning public anxiety, controversy, or scandal,” as provided by an alternate definition.
So if it wasn’t an affair, what was it?
Well, it was adultery, and Trump hasn’t personally denied it. (That is, he hasn’t had an “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” moment.) Of course that word seems so judgmental, but the definition is straightforward—“voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than that person’s current spouse or partner”—and the judgment part comes from God himself (Himself?). After all, adultery made His own “Top Ten” list.
Of course, when Elizabeth Taylor did it (and she did it a lot), adultery had kind of a forbidden glamor. But when your uncle did it or the preacher did it, not so much. And Donald Trump doing it—even less.
Under the radar this week, Frank Page resigned his position as president and chief executive of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Executive Committee due to “a morally inappropriate relationship in the recent past.” What the devil does that mean? I think we can shrink “morally inappropriate” down to the real word—immoral—and go from there. And what kind of relationship is immoral when one is a married man? Well, you do the math.
Back to our terms. The famous “one night stand” is kind of an affair whose limited duration is, well, one night. After that, it just kind of peters out. I suspect this term for a casual sexual encounter has been replaced by “hookup,” which has a somewhat comical aspect.
No, what Stormy described was a casual, almost incidentally, sexual encounter with virtually no romance or passion. It was a bit transactional, which is in keeping with Trump’s approach to so many things.
So I for one want to reclaim “affair” to its proper usage. Let’s give it back to its best practitioners—Cary Grant and Deborah Kerr. They won that title in An Affair to Remember, and Sleepless in Seattle affirmed it.
Did you notice the definition of “affair” says nothing about sex? It’s about romance and passion. On the other hand, adultery and the rest are predicated on sex. Technically speaking, two people could have an affair without actually doing it—in which case there would be romance, passion, affection, emotion, and maybe a little drama, just no sex. Interesting.
Wouldn’t that be like eating cheese, butter, sour cream, chives and bacon bits without the baked potato? Kind of filling, but not really satisfying. You really need the potato and all that goes with it. Fully loaded.
Now that’s an affair.
