You know, I was really planning to follow up last’s week column about Trump’s dog insult with one centered on cats. And while the Federal Communications Commission’s Equal-time rule only applies to political candidates and its Fairness Doctrine has been dead for years, I thought it might be in the interest of long-dead fairness to give some time to the cat people.
I am decidedly not a cat person. While some of my favorite people are dogs (as I pointed out last week), I’ve never been that friendly with a cat. And before any of you cat lovers tell me I just haven’t met the right cat, I must warn you I’ve heard that one before—in a somewhat different context.
My idea for the cat column really came about as Karl and I were watching “one-name” Omarosa on one of her endless television appearances last week. I got such a belly laugh from him when I turned to him during a commercial break and said, “Well, well, that’s one pussycat that’s grabbed back.” Only I didn’t say cat.
But then Paul Manafort got convicted on eight counts and Michael Cohen pleaded (I prefer “pled”) guilty to his own eight. Two separate sets of hateful eights that has put Trump behind the eight ball, so to speak. So now we have screaming headlines with three little words that carry big meaning: “Cohen Implicates Trump.”
Well, goodbye cat column.
And when the President of the United States is implicated by his former personal lawyer, you know impeachment talk is not going to be far behind. Not to mention the delicious thought that Cohen might be, or already is, cooperating with the Special Counsel Investigation.
The only thing better than having access to someone who knows where the bodies are buried is going straight to the person who buried them in the first place. And, at the rate we’re going, the bodies are going to start popping up like the ones in Poltergeist.
Of course, impeachment is a political solution to a problem, so it naturally has political implications. (There’s that word again.) Of course, Nancy Pelosi doesn’t see it that way. On Thursday, Politico quoted her as saying, “Let me say this about impeachment: you can’t be political about it. You can’t be political in doing it. And you can’t be political in not doing it. We have to seek the truth.”
Sure, Nancy. That’s a real sweet story.
I suspect that Democrats might not actually push for impeachment if they win the House in November. Unless they are cruising for a fight they can’t win in the short term (something Republicans understand the value of doing and Democrats don’t), there might not be any impeachment unless there are 67 votes in the Senate to remove Trump from office. And that’s very unlikely at this stage in the game. So, Nancy, if you seek and find the truth, what will you do with it? Count votes before acting? I’m asking for a friend.
And Trump himself. Bless his heart—he’s like a kid who can’t help scratching the chigger bites on his leg. “I tell you what, if I ever got impeached, I think the market would crash. I think everybody would be very poor.” That prognostication from Trump was immediately met by a piece in Forbes headlined, “Why Stocks Would Soar on Trump Impeachment.”
Who would have thought, when this week started, that we’d end up with Trump talking about his possible impeachment on Fox and Friends?
And, I thought I was going to write about cats.
