Lord, hear these our prayers and give us strength.
Abort. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Florida’s self-proclaimed Savior has fallen from the temple of sanctity into the abyss of failure. Sister Rhonda Santis has given up the race for President in abject defeat and thrown the vote to the name that trumps all names. In keeping with the name I have bestowed on this Floridian charlatan, I demand that there be no aborting of this campaign, and Sister Rhonda must remain viable through the entire race. Can I get an Amen?
Avert. We need to pray for the people of the States of Iowa and New Hampshire. Because they have cast their eyes upon a false idol, the Lord may turn His face from them. I’m going to suggest instead that they avert THEIR faces to nearby areas of mission work. People of Iowa, venture west toward the Promised Land of Colorado. Cast thy vote in its fallow lands. People of New Hampshire, cross over into the Paradise of Maine where thy decision-making shall be directed by His almighty hand. Never before have I prayed for a converted Punjab Methodist, but these are end times. Let us all bow our heads.
Alarm. Let us slog onwards through the muck and mire of Hollywood popularity contests disguised as statuette production. The “Super Bowl” of entertainment pageantry is approaching, and the line up has been announced. Oscar is brimming with atomic pride over some Jewish boy with scientific proclivities. Then, there is the glorification of greedy oilers and Indians. But we need to pray about the kind of attention given to a plastic doll in cinematic success. A film about every girl’s favorite toy, starring a lovely and talented lady, led by a gifted director of estrogen prowess, imparting a message of the power of women in these times of attention given to men for (often) no apparent reason. How then, oh Lord, have these strong messages been drowned out by the lack of recognition for these women of God in favor of only the sole testosterone vessel in the film? I am a woman of ministry. If my work were overshadowed by Joel Osteen just because he has a different naughty part, my Christian kindness would be sorely challenged. Sound the alarm!
