I have just been disgusted over the news this week. But here goes.
Methodist. This just steams me up. I have long had a disdain for Methodists for many reasons, not the least of which is that their services are 15 minutes shorter than Babatists so that they beat us to lunch places. But really, they’re just permissive Babatists. Anything goes, just give your 10%! To bolster my argument, the Methodist General Conference met last week and overwhelmingly voted to remove a rule forbidding “self-avowed practicing homosexuals” from being ordained or appointed as ministers. Can you imagine?? This could potentially put sodomites and lesbyterians in the pulpits of Methodist churches. I take solace in the way the vote was worded, however. “Self-avowed, practicing homosexuals” will be welcomed. Thank the Lord that closeted professional homosexuals will still be banned. Hallelujah!
Metropolitan. Once again, I’ve been seeing countless photos of the aftermath of this year’s Metropolitan Museum Gala in New York. Hailed as the “fashion event of the year,” it consistently makes me question the definition of “fashion.” The photos of these people and their clothing truly astonish me. Questionable fabrics are too often sparingly used and/or draped suggestively. (I’m convinced that one outfit was made with the pelts of Kristi Noem’s dog!) Other outfits make me wonder just how these people were transported to the Gala……flat-bed truck?? Women in INTENTIONALLY wet clothing revealing more flesh than Eve chompin’ on an apple. Men in women’s clothing. If I wore any of these to church, I’d get sent to a rubber room! Nonetheless, I simply must comment on two people in particular. Sister Michelle Yeoh and Sister Elle Fanning were in absolute kitchen kitsch. Michelle looked like a baked potato, and precious Elle was encased in Saran Wrap like leftover fruit with a couple of ice sculptures on her shoulders. Just made me hungry.
Matrimony. I supposed I should be grateful that the Met Gala attendees at least had SOMETHING on their bodies. I have been informed that a town in Italy called San Vero Milis is allowing NUDE WEDDINGS to be held on the nearby beach of Is Benas. How else are we going to ruin the sanctity of marriage these days? And aside from not having to choose a dress, why would anyone do this? Nuptial sand in the inner sanctums of marital consummation points seems highly irritating. I’m simply horrified and yet grateful that I live nowhere near there. But I’ll tell you this………the way this world is going, it won’t be long before a couple of nekkid sodomites in Italy are rounding up a Methodist minister for a beach party. Disgusting.
