Hello, boundary-setters! Let’s draw some lines in the sand.
Dear Sassy, my in-laws are always dropping by unannounced. How do I set boundaries?
Sweetie, it’s time to lock down those in-laws. The next time they show up unannounced, greet them with, “It’s lovely to see you, but we need to plan visits in advance.” Set a firm boundary: “We need some private time, so please call before coming over.” If they don’t get the hint, stop answering the door. A text after they leave saying, “We weren’t expecting you, please call next time,” will drive the point home. If they still don’t get it, enlist your partner’s help. Boundaries are a two-person job. Remember, your home is your sanctuary, not their drop-in center. Hold your ground and reclaim your space.
Sassy, my friend keeps borrowing my clothes and not returning them. How do I make it stop?
Time to play hardball, darling. Next time they ask to borrow something, say, “I’m sorry, but I need to keep my wardrobe intact.” If they push, remind them of past offenses: “Last time I lent you something, it took forever to get it back.” If they still don’t get it, start charging a “rental fee” – nothing says “return my clothes” like a deposit. If they don’t like it, too bad. Your closet isn’t a free-for-all. If all else fails, start borrowing their clothes and conveniently forget to return them. Sometimes, a taste of their own medicine is the best lesson.
Dear Sassy, my roommate’s new boyfriend practically lives with us. What should I do?
Oh darling, it’s time for a house meeting. Sit your roommate down and say, “I’ve noticed your boyfriend is here a lot. We need to set some boundaries.” Propose a compromise: “How about he only stays over on weekends?” If they resist, remind them that you’re paying rent for shared space, not for their live-in lover. If the boyfriend doesn’t contribute to rent or utilities, bring that up too. It’s unfair for you to subsidize their romance. If they still don’t get it, start charging them for utilities and shared expenses. A little financial reality check can work wonders. Remember, your home should be your sanctuary, not a love nest for freeloaders.
Until next week, keep your boundaries fierce!
Got a tricky situation? A messy love life or a social snafu? Don’t navigate it alone! I’m here to sprinkle some sass and wisdom on your woes. Email me your questions at asksassy@hesaiddallas.com and let’s tackle them together in next week’s column. Remember, no topic is too small or too scandalous for our little chat. I’m all ears and all advice—fire away, darlings!
