Well, here we go again. It’s the last column before Election Day, so I thought I’d go back in time and review the ones from 2016 and 2020.
It was a bit surprising how flippant my mood seemed at their writing, but then the first one was written in the early part of what I now reluctantly think of as the Trump Era, back when it was widely thought Hillary Clinton would send him back to Trump Tower without further ado. The second, of course, was written from inside the pandemic and outlined a drinking game to play while watching the election results.
In the one from 2020, there was a mention of recent reports cautioning that we would not know on the night of the election who had actually won. How downright quaint that thinking was, but then it was before January 6 of the following year.
Since this is Trump’s third time up at bat as the Republican presidential nominee, what we do know is that win, lose or draw, a significant number of folks are going to have some kind of breakdown. When Hillary Clinton lost, it was a gut punch felt by Democrats across the nation that has resulted in a sort of political PTSD triggered by contemplating the possibility that Trump might win again.
But all those folks taking to their beds with a case of the vapors in 2016 was nothing in comparison to the ongoing conniption fit that took place four years later. For those who don’t speak Southern, perhaps a bit of explanation is in order.
A case of the vapors usually describes a state of emotional agitation that includes feeling anxious, experiencing lightheadedness, and possibly feeling depressed. A conniption fit is kind of like a hissy fit, but there is a distinction. Pitching a hissy fit—the only kind of pitching at which I excel—is usually caused by something fairly insignificant, a sort of emotional outburst that is temporary in nature. In addition, a hissy fit is not something one does alone. There’s at least an audience and most likely a target.
But a conniption fit is much more than a simple hissy fit. It may look like a hissy fit at first, but then the hands get involved and the possibility that something might get thrown against the walls, into the sink or at someone’s face becomes real. One can have a conniption fit all by oneself, and even if such a fit starts when someone else is present, that someone would be wise to run for cover to leave the afflicted one alone. After a really good conniption fit and once the gestures and the danger to breakable objects are over, there may remain an internalized anger that loses its heat but remains nonetheless. One of the most historic conniption fits, and one that afflicted many at the same time, was seen on January 6, 2021, at the U. S. Capitol.
To talk to some folks in these days before the 2024 election, they seem to be heading back to their beds with another case of the vapors if Trump wins. Sad, as then nothing was learned from 2016 should this prove to be the case.
On the other hand, it seems like another conniption fit might result if Trump loses again. Sad, as then nothing was learned from 2020 should this prove to be the case.
Years ago, a highly successful political operative who had managed winning statewide campaigns in multiple states told me a simple truth about how our two major political parties motivate their bases to vote. The Democrats do it with fear, while the Republicans do it with anger. The most casual view of the current political landscape going into this election will reveal how true that is today, decades after I was given this insight.
It is no accident that anxiety and anger fill the air, even in places usually impervious to political conversation. After all, this pitched environment also benefits the fundraisers, the pundits and pollsters, and virtually all media outlets.
It is a presidential election after all, but no one person can fix everything in this country that needs fixing, regardless of what he might say. Similarly, no one person is responsible for everything that hasn’t been fixed. Regardless of what happens next week, what this country needs and has always needed is cooler heads and clearer thinking, not just by its elected officials, but by the voters who put them into office in the first place.
So, please, no cases of the vapors and no conniption fits—they just ain’t fittin’ in these circumstances. One needn’t be Southern to understand that.
