One of life’s loveliest sensations is waking up on one’s own after sunrise when light has filled the room, and there’s no immediate need to get out of bed. Perhaps we doze off again, or maybe just enjoy the comfort of the pillows and the warmth provided by whatever we cover up with at night.
Earlier this week, I had one of those and just was luxuriating in restfulness while my mind went on a stream of consciousness adventure. You know what I mean, I’m sure, when you’re not really conscious of thinking about anything, and so your thoughts are untethered. For no known reason, my thoughts went to a memory of a Christmas party years ago, and the stream went something like this:
That was the first party Karl and I went to together, and the first time he met any of my friends. Danny had attached all those tinsel icicles to the ceiling—how did he do that? Was he with that good-looking guy with the amazing shoulders? What was his name? No, he was with Robert by then. They were together before Karl and I were, in that apartment on Cole. Or was it McKinney? It was on McKinney, wasn’t it? Duke had that apartment on Cole. But that was several years later, after he had finally broken up with Steve, and all that mess, and I got a subpoena and had to testify in court, and then Steve went to prison for embezzling money from retired missionaries. Good Lord! Is Steve dead? The rest of them are dead. No, no, no…I’m not going down that road.
With a snap, I threw back the covers and said out loud, “Oh, I give up!” Karl rolled over, my having disturbed his early morning haze, and asked what was wrong. “I can’t go back to sleep, and I don’t want to think about what I’m thinking about. That never happens to you, does it?” He shrugged to affirm that it indeed never happens to him and rolled back to his original position.
There are those of us who overthink almost everything. Even when we finally have thought something all the way through, there is a strong possibility that we’ll do it all over again when we go to bed that night and then again in the shower the next morning, and once more—just for good measure—when we’re driving to wherever we’re going. It’s not indecisiveness, you understand, it’s just overthinking.
Something came across my social media this week in the form of a short video clip that got lost in the universe before I could write it down. I know it included several quotes from Marcus Aurelius, but what struck me was something else. The speaker, in a lovely sonorous voice, said something like, “Emotional detachment is not cold; it is needed for clarity.” Well, that’s a mouthful, and it got me thinking and, ultimately, overthinking.
Well, I do think sometimes emotional detachment can be cold when it results from a lack of empathy. But when it comes to clarity, emotions and feelings tend to get in the way. It seems that some folks think about something and then decide how to feel about it, while others feel some way about the same thing and then decide what they think about it. Some, myself included, have been known to work it from either end.
Social media is full of posts and comments from both kinds of folks. Some are quite thoughtful, while others are clearly emotive. Even with my limited access to clarity, it is necessary to try to understand what people think and how they feel about all sorts of issues, even though everyone doesn’t think or feel the same way. Our elected officials would be well served to consider the totality of the people rather than slicing and dicing us into groups and pasting enough of us together to get reelected.
Being human, we want to express our thoughts and our feelings. Well, many of us anyway. Some want to be left alone with both. Some express their thoughts while hiding their feelings, and others express their feelings without a thought.
With all this thinking and feeling going on, I’m reminded of what Horace Walpole said. “This world is a comedy to those who think, a tragedy to those who feel.”
Now that is something to think about. Then think about again. Then once more for good measure.
