End times are at hand.
Rapture. In biblical rapture news, Italian volcano, Mount Etna, must have had some bad parmesan as it belched forth ash, lava and unsolicited prophecy upon the sinners of Sicily. The locals, who had just finished building yet another gelato shop on sacred volcanic soil, were heard shouting, “It’s just a natural phenomenon!” But we Christians know better. I mean, what is magma if not the Lord’s holy fondue, melting away the lukewarm and toasting the doubters? This was judgment in the form of fire and plume! Locals and tourists alike who witnessed the conflagration were left with a lesson: when the Lord lights a mountain, He’s not planning a romantic dinner. Amen?
Rereading. I glanced at a headline today that has raised my blood pressure. “Trump warns of ‘economic urination’ if courts rule against tariffs.” Why in the world would he relate our money woes to a basic bodily function? He’s actually saying that, if he doesn’t get his way with his ridiculous tariffs, the economy is going to flood mankind with more tee-tee than a prolapsed bladder? Ridiculous! Fortunately, a more cursory reading of the article revealed that I didn’t correctly translate the letters in the headline. It was ACTUALLY “Trump warns of ‘economic ruination’ if courts rule against tariffs.” I have GOT to get new glasses.
Rainbows. Let us pray for strength to endure this coming month. The Sodomite and Lesbyterian heathens have cornered the market on the entire month for a global celebration of their lifestyles under the title of “PRIDE”. And don’t get me started on the word “lgbtq.” How are you supposed to pronounce that with no vowels?? Already, my home base of Dallas has lit the skyline in rainbow colors. Sigh. As a woman of faith, I try to find the good in all situations, so follow my lead and take the high road. Smile at a sodomite, laugh with a lesbyterian, bide time with a bisexual, transfer funds to a transgender or quip with a queer. I just wish I could use my Noah’s Ark with a Rainbow bumper sticker without freaks honking at me on the streets!
