I have been given the HOLY SPIRIT this week!
Tallying. As a long-time member of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Babatist Church, it is incumbent upon me to comment on the meeting of the Southern Babatist Convention currently in my city of residence, Dallas. Every year, this convening of saints grindrs out resolutions of faith and power, completely devoid of actual faith. I have long held issue with SBC’s ban on women in ministry, a topic which tests my ability to maintain a benevolent heart. Now these men of power and their wives from the region of Stepford, after tallying their lots, have issued forth a new proclamation vowing spiritual warfare on the marriages of sodomites and lesbyterians in this land. I dare say there are many men in their midst who had to momentarily cease their Grindr ministry long enough to vote on this issue of such moral turpitude. I certainly have my own thoughts about the LGBTQ community, not the least of which is how to pronounce “LGBTQ.” Ligibetk? Still, let these conventioneers look to Jesus for answers. It is important to break out the red-letter edition of the Scriptures so they may find Jesus’ exact words about this issue. Let us open our Bibles.
Tattling. Speaking of the union of two men, it is not only disgusting to witness the public display of such a relationship, but when that relationship sours, it is all the more vile. We are witnessing such a fracture in our land between the Patron of Mar-a-Lago and Reverend Tesla. The viciousness of vitriol between these two is systemic of sodomite symbiosis gone south. The tattling of these two is far from titillating and needs to terminate. To put a spin on a well-known wedding proclamation, “What God hath NOT joined together, let a billionaire put asunder!” Praise the Lord that I have the freedom to make these comments since I don’t work for ABC.
Tonys. And to wrap all of this up by staying on a sodomite theme, I watched the Tony Awards on Sunday night after prayer meeting. I do this so that I may bear witness to the endless parade of theatrical filth invading our stages of renown. Artistic men winning awards and thanking their “husbands.” I’m glad I had a barf bag on my end table. Young male actors gyrating in the face of another man on the front row. Horrifying. And clean-shaven male actors with their beards. Astonishing. Praise the Lord that the women present had a bit more class and demureness. So many elegantly draped female forms. One woman of indeterminate ethnicity even mentioned the good Lord above in her acceptance speech. Hallelujah! I just feel bad for that one winner. Why wear a low neckline when you have such depilatory issues on one’s chest? I know I’ve had random hairs on my chin or even my bosom, but good Lord!
