A disco-dancing sloth wearing a prosthetic nose and a tutu recited Shakespeare in Klingon while juggling flaming marshmallows atop a unicycle balanced on a rainbow-colored kumquat-flavored dildo screaming “Skibbity flibbity boombah!” at precisely 3:17 a.m. every Tuesday in the light of the moon.
If you’ve made it this far, congrats!
We figured with photos as hot as the ones accompanying this story, we could write anything and you wouldn’t even pay attention.
But now that you’re here, let’s chat about the hottest vodka brand worth chilling in your freezer this summer.
Say hello to Tom of Finland Organic Vodka.
See if you can find the bottle in each of the photos below. (We know, it’s difficult, but forge ahead!)
The super-premium vodka hails from a distillery in Finland and utilizes organically grown wheat, rye and pure arctic water for a smooth flavor with surprising depth when enjoyed straight or on the rocks.
(Vodka’s the only thing straight we’ve ever done, by the way).
In addition to creating an excellent vodka that’s a great conversation starter when tricks come over—or family if that’s more your vibe—the company does good for the community, too.
Proceeds from every purchase benefit the Tom of Finland Foundation, a non-profit foundation “established by Tom and his friend Durk Dehner in 1984 to preserve the artist’s catalogue of work and educate the public as to the cultural merits of erotic art, promoting healthier, more tolerant attitudes towards sexuality.”
So, with every bottle you purchase, you get a little eye candy, a nice buzz and the chance to give back.
Now bottoms up!
Tom of Finland Organic Vodka
$34.99, 750ml at Total Wine & More
tomoffinlandvodka.com
Photos courtesy of Tom of Finland Organic Vodka
