Things keep spinning in all directions!
Hunches. Lord, help us all! Our largest city and largest melting pot of sin and degradation, New York City, has elected a Muslim Socialist as its new mayor! Think of the consequences! I have a hunch that all streets will now be one-way heading towards Mecca. Bullhorns will call all to prayer at 5 a.m. outside the Plaza Hotel. The ultra-wealthy will leave town. Saks and Target will now be in the same economic category. There will be an influx of new babies being named Sharia. Rents will plummet to benefit the poor, and starving actors will take up residence on Park Avenue in apartments deserted by the rich. Lord, let us pray for Brother Mayor Zoran Mamdani as well as the people of New York Sodom and Gomorrah. Times are a-changing. May all be saved in the process.
Hunters. Let us pause for reflection. Former Vice President Dick Cheney has “gone to that undisclosed location in the sky.” Many are praising his steadfast defense of freedom, oil and occasionally, the faith. I daresay it was a homecoming for a man who knew the power of both prayer and preemptive strikes. Many I know are lighting commemorative candles shaped like Halliburton stock certificates and assuring one another that Cheney’s new pacemaker runs on eternal power now. Perhaps Heaven just got a little safer…as long as there’s no hunting allowed.
Hunks. I never cease to be amazed at how American publications can flaunt such blatant sexually-charged material. I miss the days of Ladies Home Companion, McCall’s and Family Circle, where only decent stories appeared. Of course, those were magazines with some sense of seriousness. Nowadays, the thing that sells is entertainment gossip and its vapid coverage. People magazine has been issuing an edict on who the sexiest man alive might be each year. Why can’t they just call him very handsome and wholesome? This year, though, they’ve just gone too far. Not only are they proclaiming the sexiest man alive, but the person this year happens to be a known sodomite. What is this world coming to? I refuse to purchase any copy of this filthy publication, but I shall be perusing it at the Kroger to inspect the accompanying photography. I’m fully expecting that I’m going to need to lay hands on Brother Jonathan Bailey for this bestowed title. I’m already on my knees.
