While he was still married to Mother’s younger sister Faye and I was still a child, my Uncle J. B. decided to run for county commissioner down in Panola County in deep East Texas. Driving down to Carthage for election day, I was excited by what would prove to be my first foray into politics. Being a poll greeter, I was to repeat the line, “Please vote for my Uncle J. B. Moore for county commissioner.” While I was excited about having a new role to play, Mother in the front seat was a little less enthusiastic about her womanizing brother-in-law.
“Well, if all the women he’s had in Panola County vote for him, he’ll win in a landslide.” Daddy evenly replied, “Well, if their husbands vote, he won’t.”
After my job was done, we went to downtown Carthage, where it seemed the whole county had gathered to see the election results posted on big chalk boards outside the courthouse. Families had come with baskets filled with fried chicken and potato salad as if the whole thing were one great big picnic.
As precious as I may have been, my poll greetings would not prove to be enough to carry Uncle J. B. over the finish line. As the results came in, the family was surprised that he was losing in virtually every precinct.
Daddy, never missing an opportunity to have some fun and perhaps to break the tension of disappointment, casually asked Uncle J. B. if he carried a gun. “Sure, I keep one in the glove box.”
“Good. Any man who doesn’t have any more friends than you do needs to carry a gun.” They all laughed and moved on. I suppose the husbands had done the bulk of the voting after all.
This week, the Republicans got that same kind of old-fashioned ass whuppin’ that Uncle J. B. did all those years ago. House seats, Senate seats, governorships, and all the rest were flipping across the country like the USA had turned into an IHOP. Predictably, a whole bunch of folks are feeling butthurt right about now, even ones with really nice asses.
These missives of mine cautioned against having too many expectations in favor of expecting only surprises. Well, that part held true. I did say that Democrats should expect some disappointments. That part did not hold true. For any Democrat who is butthurt about any aspect of this election, I have only two words. South Carolina.
Senate and governorships flipped in Iowa and Ohio, and Kansas elected a Democrat to the Senate for the first time since 1932. Maine fired Susan Collins, possibly the most irritating member of the Senate for some years now. Then there’s Texas.
“When Dallas County flipped blue back in 2006, that success had many mothers. In fact, that seismic shift had little to do with a massively successful get out the vote effort or a stellar list of candidates, some of whom were downright mediocre. The county flipped because the voters had a bellyful of Republican governance.
In my own congressional district, Pete Sessions easily won reelection in 2016 despite Hillary Clinton having won that same district in her presidential campaign. Why? The Democrats didn’t even field a candidate, setting the stage for Colin Allred to flip that seat two years later. In all likelihood, it would have flipped before, even if the Democrats had run Mickey Mouse. Or better, Minnie Mouse.”
I’m quoting myself from last February, but I’m putting this in the time capsule.
When Texas flipped blue back in 2026, that success had many mothers. In fact, that seismic shift had a great deal to do with a massively successful get out the vote effort and the most stellar list of candidates the Democrats had provided voters in decades. That said, the state flipped because the voters had a bellyful of 30 years of Republican governance and some measure of corruption.
“What Texas voters will do when they have had enough ends up surprising both parties when it happens. That’s been true at the county and congressional level, and I suspect the same will be true when it comes to a statewide race.” That’s me again from February, and from what I can tell, Democrats and Republicans alike have been surprised this week.
But not Gomer Pyle. Surprise, surprise, surprise.
