When we grow up, we want to be underwear designers. Not only do we have some innovative boxer-brief ideas, but we’re willing to sacrifice our home lives for the long hours at work it will require to help all those young (presumably starving) underwear models learn the ins-and-outs of the fashion world, while they parade around the office wearing our […]
Taking a page right out of the book of Shirley MacLaine, we’d like to be reincarnated as a Roman Emperor. Not only do we have legs to pull off a toga, we are totally sold on a life of gluttony filled with orgies, copious amounts of wine and, of course, a vomitorium! In the meantime, we’ll have to settle for […]
We’ve always wanted to be more like Madonna. In the late ‘80s, we got kicked out of Catechism for wearing lace gloves and an old wedding dress while learning the Stations of the Cross. In the ’90s, we single-handedly popularized the cone-bra look at our after-school job sacking groceries. And God knows we could knit a king-size bedspread out of […]
There’s a new thinking cap for those who are sometimes accused of making decisions with different heads. Yes, we prefer the goods to be on full, proud display, but sometimes underwear is Clever. The newest line of Clever skivvies takes advantage of the kinds of colorful graphics typically seen on tweens’ MySpace profiles or graphic tees that stock the shelves […]
Sure, maybe the pollen and pollutants have plugged your sinuses so full that you look more bug-eyed than Star Jones eating a habanero. But even with a broke-down smeller, a true gay can sniff out even a hint of a fab party in the soon-to-be spring air. So break out your Hermès Neti Pot, double up on the Claritin, throw […]
Okay, quick poll: who likes a back rub? See, it’s unanimous. Maybe that question should have been part of the stimulus package negotiations. It would have sailed through bipartisan approval. We are total massage junkies. In fact, we would back it up to a homeless man on the street as long as he could promise to work the knots out. […]
This week’s adventures read just like someone picked the lock on our diary. The first few pages are the doodles of us signing “Rick Springfield 4 Ever” in puffy cursive letters over and over. Then there’s the rough draft of the lesbian love scene we wrote for 9 to 5, wherein Lily Tomlin’s Violet Newstead seduces Dolly Parton’s Doralee Rhodes […]
Put Your Best Foot Forward We always say “When the going gets tough, the tough goes shoe shopping.” And with over 2,200 popular styles discounted more than 25% off retail – and free UPS shipping to boot – Shoebacca helps us get our fix without wrecking our budget. Use the promo code “FIERCE” for an additional 15% off your entire […]
We’d like to believe that most songs on the radio are about us, or at least dedicated to our unblemished legacy. Even Carly Simon has written a song about our well-known qualities. However, our legions of admirers had no true forum to express their musical love for us until the Fauxshow came along. Based in the UK, the Fauxshow has […]
“Who” will everyone in Dallas be wearing this awards season? If we have our way, it’ll be original Oscar Fierro. The new Dallas boutique opens tomorrow, but we got a sneak preview and his new menswear collection is sure to become a blockbuster. Sexy designs and wonderful fabrics have fashionably fornicated and created some truly remarkable offspring. For now, his […]
