Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. President for 2016: Help me, Lord! It’s only April of 2015, and already the 2016 race for leader of the free world is heating up. More choices to come, I’m sure, but let’s look at our slate so far. A […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Easter: He is Risen! I am renewed and rejuvenated after celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Savior this past Sunday. I saw so many familiar faces at church, but mostly the C&E Christians who only attend twice a year. […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Indiana: HOOSIER Lord and Savior, people? I wish to recognize the lawmakers of the great State of Indiana for their bold move to pass legislation allowing my fellow Christians to refuse service to any perceived sodomites or lesbyterians on the […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Ted Cruz: Calling all prayer warriors! We need to circle the prayer wagons in regard to the latest political news. Ted Cruz is running for President. Lord help us. I mean, he’s a Canadian Mexican! If he was running for […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Ted Cruz: Brother Ted Cruz has made headlines this week for scaring a 3-year old girl. Dear Lord, I KNOW how she feels! In an impassioned speech in New Hampshire, the Texas Senator was using his usual blabbering metaphors about […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Ben Carson: Brother Ben Carson, retired neurosurgeon and 2016 GOP candidate for president has claimed, in all his neuroscience knowledge, that being gay is indeed a choice. And to prove his ever so scientific theory, Brother Ben claimed, and I […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Leonard Nimoy: Let us mourn the passing of another godly Jew. Brother Leonard Nimoy gained fame and fortune as the other-worldly Vulcan, Dr. Spock, on that sci-fi trash, STAR TREK. As all fans of the show are aware, Dr. Spock’s […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Academy Awards: Sodomites and Liberals had their night on Sunday, as the 87th Annual Academy Awards were held. Such a parade of filth and left-wing propaganda. However, because I’m always prepared to fight the enemy, I watched every minute of […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Kate Brown: Continuing their reputation as hippies, liberals and granola-eating naturalists, the people of the State of Oregon are now being led by a self-avowed bisexual as their Governor. I really don’t need to know what goes on the bedrooms […]
Our spiritual leader Sister Helen Holy is back again this week to share her good Christian perspective on the news. Mike Huckabee: Former Arkansas Governor and Presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, has boldly announced that he believes homosexuality to be akin to drinking and swearing. It’s something people do, which he doesn’t participate in or necessarily agrees with. This hearkens back […]
