Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.
Let us lift up these prayer concerns. Folly. As you can imagine, I have very strong feelings about the power of women like me in making a difference in this world. My mission work has touched countless lives, and my knees are FLAT from prayer and supplication on behalf of sinners. Therefore, when I see other women doing important things, […]
I hope you all appreciate that retching I went through to share these prayer concerns! Sots. I’ve about decided that our current President is a drunken sot. It’s not the erratic behavior. It’s not the slovenly look. It’s not even his unintelligible drivel. No, every drunk is constantly needing one thing: ice. Ice for cocktails. Ice for headaches. Ice for […]
I’ve shaped this week’s prayer concerns to the T. Tesla. My trips to K-Mart for affordable perfume were always confounded by the clerk’s use of the term musk in describing a fragrance. I had to look that one up. It is an element used in the making of perfume which is derived from glandular secretions in animals. That made me […]
I am ORDERING you to pray about these things! Decree. In biblical times, when God Almighty spoke, the words were taken as law, even when the words came from a burning bush! When Jesus spoke, the words were recorded as truth in the Scriptures. Amen? So I, as a Babatist, am not unfamiliar with decrees. However, I understand them to […]
The highs and lows of these recent days. Filth. As a part of my ministry following televised filth, I am forced to watch televised awards shows to witness the debauchery therein. As you probably know, the largest of these TV exploitations just aired……the Academy Awards. Recognizing excellence (??) in the past year’s cinematic offerings, this award show really brings out […]
What a world we are in these days. Praise God for prayer! Grand. Lord, there is much rending of clothing and gnashing of teeth here in my hometown of Dallas. The epitome of wealth, style and good taste, Neiman Marcus is closing its flagship downtown store after over 100 years of standing. I rarely spent my hard-earned money at Neiman’s […]
Sports, Skits and Idiots in my thoughts this week. Presentations. When I first saw the name of the big annual football game, I thought it said Super BOWEL, which I didn’t think was anyone’s business how often you were moved. Once I realized it was BOWL, I began searching my Tupperware catalog for such an item. Obviously, I now know […]
I’ve had it. Get used to a new sword in my arsenal of faith. Bible. As a devout Christian, it is perceived that I am happy with our new President. Let me assure you this is not the case. I am always abundantly clear how I am a much better Christian than most people on this Earth. So, it stands […]
I have been in a dry land so far this year. Grateful to be back with these words. Babatist. I have delayed my thoughts on the death of former President Jimmy Carter due to my bereavement over the death of such a fine Babatist. I give glory to God for this man’s long life and his ministry to mankind. Other […]
Let us look back at the year passed. These are the stories which spoke to me the most. I pray they will touch your memories as well. January. Oh, how the mighty have fallen! Florida’s self-proclaimed Savior has fallen from the temple of sanctity into the abyss of failure. Sister Rhonda Santis has given up the race for President in […]
