The 701 Club

Sister Helen Holy of the First Southern Fried, Self-Satisfied Baptist Church is the arbiter of all that’s good and Christian in this world. When not ministering to heathens at events on dry land nationwide, she can frequently be found taking her ministry to the high seas on cruises with VACAYA Vacations, where she spends most of the week on her knees “in prayer.” Be sure to follow Sister Helen Holy on Facebook at www.facebook.com/helen.holy and on Instagram at @sisterhelenholy. Why 701? Well, because she’s just a little bit better than that other Christian newscast.

Bulging, Blowing & Balloting

There are some BIG things blowing about this week. Bulging.  I have continued to enjoy the sportsmanship and camaraderie of the Summer Olympics in Paris.  As I write this, China, USA and France are leading with the most gold medals.  I believe these victories are a source of national pride for the winning nations.  We in America have always paraded […]

Oly! Oly! Olympics!

All eyes on Paris this week.  The good, the bad and the limber. Blessing.  I was uplifted by the music ministry of Sister Celine Dion during the opening ceremonies.  Bless her heart.  She has struggled with health issues that threaten her gift of song.  And yet, in that moment on the Eiffel Tower, she burst forth in such a joyful […]

Biden, Babatist & Bob.

It’s been a busy few days in news of the world.  Let’s get to it! Biden.  I have to lead off with my thoughts on the biggest story we’ve had in quite a while.  Our current President, Brother Joe Biden, has chosen to not seek reelection in November and will step aside for a younger candidate to lead forward.  We […]

Ruth, Richard & Revelation.

Death has come to some and slipped by others this week. Ruth.  I’ve always been appalled by people who speak so freely about sex.  Even if it’s private conversation, these people ought to be ashamed.  Imagine my horror the first time I ever saw and hear Dr. Ruth Westheimer.  A diminutive, precious Jewish lady with an accent talking about intimate […]

Windy. Winds. Winded.

There has been a lot of hot air these days. Windy.  Mother Nature’s wrath befell the Texas coastline this week.  Hurricane Beryl, which at one time had been a so-called Category 5 storm, barreled its way up from the Caribbean, losing steam as it went.  Still, Miss Beryl maintained a blow rate of damaging winds and rain from Galveston through […]

Ineptness, Immunity & Independence.

The “I”s have it this week. Ineptness.  I’ve never been much for reality shows.  They all just seem so fake and uninspired.  Lately, however, I find myself watching what can best be described as the final season of the United States of America.  Whether it’s campaign ads, news reports or, most recently, the presidential debates, our collective reality seems to […]

Retire. Revere. Rebuke.

I’m a little riled up this week. Retire.  The proverbial wheel of fortune has spun another chapter.  Brother Pat Sajak has made his living for some 40 years as host of that fortune eponymous game show.  The man made millions from wearing layers of pancake make-up, biting his tongue to keep from laughing at ignorant contestants and playing with a […]

Prison, Presidenta & Pride.

My knees are flat from prayer on these things. Prison.  It bereaves me when someone of great moral character and respect is found guilty of a crime.  Even the best of us can be led astray by Satan.  On the other hand, when someone of ill repute and a history of wrongdoing is found guilty of crimes, my heart rejoices […]

Clamoring. Clarence. Clapback.

Solar Storms and Sunspots have taken their toll on this world. Clamoring.  It’s always a mystery to me that when someone stands up for traditional Christian values, they are assailed in the media.  As a fine Babatist, I try to emulate all that the Lord would have me be and exhort others to do the same.  Recently, a heretofore little-known […]

Methodist, Metropolitan & Matrimony.

I have just been disgusted over the news this week.  But here goes. Methodist.  This just steams me up.  I have long had a disdain for Methodists for many reasons, not the least of which is that their services are 15 minutes shorter than Babatists so that they beat us to lunch places.  But really, they’re just permissive Babatists.  Anything […]